Starting again (again).

Hello and welcome to another blog post from the girl who can’t seem to actually get her butt into gear and write a regular blog post. Was my last one a year ago? Longer? Less? I don’t know and I am am apparently too lazy to check. At any rate, it has been a while.

Today I logged in with the intention of deleting my account. My main reasons being:

1. My life is boring and no one needs to read about it.
2. Some of my “projects” have been a bit crap and I don’t really need a large audience viewing them (I’m not quite sure who this “large audience” is, but in my head there a MILLIONS of people potentially reading about me and my not-very-good attempts at “art”.)
3. I am, as mentioned before, slack at posting on a regular basis.
4. I’m not sure what the focus of my blog is meant to be. Is it craft? Is it cooking? Is it long-winded opinion pieces? I don’t know. Which means my readers don’t know either.
5. I have a very busy life and no time to keep up with a blog.

All valid reasons, perhaps, but probably more akin to lame excuses, if I’m being honest. Let us look at these points and (because, hey, you made it this far and I’m clearly continuing on, so it would be rude for you to leave now…) see if we can offer an alternate viewpoint:

1. Boringness: Maybe my life is a tad on the tame side. I’m not exactly climbing mountains or winning races or embarking on fascinating journeys of self-discovery. But, I would imagine, that that is true for many people. MOST people in fact. So maybe people might like to read about someone who is like them and not pretending to be AMAZING and interesting ALL THE TIME (how very tiring that must be!). I’m just a regular person trying to make it through life with minimum drama and chaos, and if that makes me boring then snore away!
2. Who said I have to be the best artist of all time to deserve having a blog? Who made that dumb rule? Me, clearly. I am learning all the time and just trying to have a creative life and share the process and if some of my handiwork is a bit on the crap side, who cares? I like it when other artists show their failures or not-quite-perfect projects because it helps me to remember that we all make mistakes and sometimes really cool stuff can come from a stumble.
3. Me being a slack blogger is probably not on anyone’s list of “Things that make life harder/annoying/disappointing”. I’m just not that important, in the scheme of things. So I should take that worry off the table.
4. Lack of focus is, again, not the end of the world. Is anyone paying to read my blog? No. Is anyone basing their entire life strategy or business plan on my blog? No. Is anyone locked in to following my blog for the rest of their life? No. What does it matter if I post about cookies one day and then discuss the merits of bed socks the next? You can come and go as you please. Why am I trying to limit my likes and dislikes to one subject?
5. I am very busy… making excuses. That’s what takes up my time. I think “Oh I am not good enough/interesting enough/productive enough to have a blog” What a load of tosh.

So, you can see, I decided not to delete my account. Not just yet anyway. Maybe I will let it stick around. Because maybe I enjoy writing these sporadic posts. Maybe, just maybe, I am allowed to do something just for myself – shock, horror! – and it doesn’t need to be for anyone else. And it doesn’t need to be exciting, or earth-shattering or even remotely clever. It just needs to be honest.

I am “starting over” in many areas of my life right now so this blog will be just one tiny piece of that enormous puzzle. Pretty sure I will get fed up, lose pieces and chuck it all on the floor during several tantrums, but that’s ok. My life, just like me, is a work in progress 🙂

Bug Hotel

Bugs! Who doesn’t love bugs? Well, ok, lots of people HATE bugs. But I guess it depends on the bugs we’re talking about, right? I’m pretty sure we can all agree cockroaches are kinda disgusting and no one is a big fan of mosquitoes, but there are some critters that are less creepy-crawly and more cutie-patootie. I mean, look at this Blue-Banded Bee :

So frikkin’ cute, right? Such a beautiful blue colour – they are solitary, non-aggressive and don’t get me started on those adorable antennae! They do have a sting but, due to their non-aggressive nature, prefer not to use them unless they absolutely have to . Luckily, their stings are not barbed, so they do not die if they do sting you. Hooray! They are important pollinators and a delight to have in the garden, if you are lucky enough to attract them (plant lots of blue/purple flowers if you want to encourage BBBs into your garden). They are super fascinating to watch if you can spot them (they’re quite shy and because they don’t swarm together, sometimes it can be hard to find them). The females build little burrow nests and the males hang out together at night, roosting on twigs and grass stems, to help keep each other warm until the early morning sunshine comes around again.

If you are interested, you can download a guide all about the BBB here.

For some reason, on the weekend, I decided to make a bug hotel. I got a bee in my bonnet (no pun intended) the night before and just suddenly felt that I NEEDED a bug hotel in my life. Did I do the proper research with regard to appropriate materials, sizing and other matters? Pah! No, I did not. I did my usual “Let’s just bung one together” type of thing. Which is fine for a first go, but probably won’t encourage any critters to trust my project as prime real estate. Nevertheless, behold my masterpiece!

Aside from some dodgy angles where the roof joins (or, rather, doesn’t join), it’s not so bad. I particularly like the little chimney and the fact none of it wobbles. My jigsaw-using skills need a lot of work, but my drilling is getting better and I didn’t injure myself so that is a bonus. I used old sticks and bits of wood mulch, plus bamboo stakes that I drilled holes in, for the nesting materials. The rest is just pine blocks cut to size and drilled with holes where appropriate. I should have made it deeper, included mud or clay, made the roof wider to protect from the elements and also put a back on the structure. I failed at insect accommodation but I hope it will inspire you to try your own version (and do a better job than me!).

You can find instructions for making a proper Bug Hotel here

Taking Stock : October

I have been meaning to do a “Taking Stock” list for ages.  Pip Lincolne posts them on her lovely blog Meet Me at Mike’s and they always inspire me to do the same.  But I have yet to do it.  So here goes…..

Cooking : Curries – I am trying to make a decent one.  I have a delightful library volunteer (she’s Indian) who brings me equally delightful meals and I am pretty sure she uses some kind of witchcraft on them because they are SO GOOD.

Drinking : Yorkshire Tea.  I always drink tea but am finding I need an extra strong brew these days, so Yorkshire Tea it is.  That, or I dunk two regular teabags in my cup. And then walk away, forget about it, and come back to a cup of tea that is so strong the spoon stands up in it.

Listening to: Juliana Hatfield Sings Olivia Newton John Seriously – two of my fave artists combined?  Hello!?  Awesomeness. Have you never been mellow, indeed.

Reading: The Little Paris Bookshop  It’s a lovely story about a floating bookshop in Paris and the owner who “possesses a rare gift for sensing which books will soothe the troubled souls of his customers”.

Next read: Haven’t made my mid up yet, because I have SO MANY books to read at home.  But I think I will tackle The Wonder by Emma Donoghue.

Making: Lots of collages.  Which, in turn, means I am making lots of mess.

Wanting: An electric drill.  It is time I made the commitment to proper DIY projects and got myself some power tools.  It will probably end in disaster, let’s face it.

Looking: For old drawers.  Of the furniture / storage variety.  I don’t mean knickers.  I want to make some groovy storage / shelving thingies from them.  Have a look at some of the ideas HERE

Deciding: On what to do with my life.  This is a recurring theme for me.  But I feel very anxious about it all.  I am thinking about going to a career counsellor.  I can’t work out if they are a load of nonsense or actually quite a good idea.

Wishing: For world peace, obviously.  But also a Lotto win, a flatter stomach, reliable hair and comfortable (yet fabulous) shoes.  Mostly the Lotto win – I really need that.

Enjoying: Strawberries.  We’re in the midst of a bit of strawberry scare at the moment in Australia (some fool has been putting needles in them as some sort of disgruntled-ex-employee protest) but I have been bravely soldiering on and enjoying these luscious little bites of sweetness.  They are so tasty right now.  I could eat a whole punnet in one sitting.

Waiting: For Spring to really kick in.  We’ve had some lovely sunny days, but they’ve been interspersed with very rainy, cold, miserable, ugh kind of days that make me ache and want to hide under a blanket.

Loving: A new discovery, The Rustic Gallery  Full of lovely old and not-so-old STUFF.  Rusty yumminess – everything from furniture to homewares, garden pieces, hardware, tools etc.  Beautifully set out, really well organised and very reasonably priced.  There are treasures around every corner.  You must visit!

Considering: Joining a gym.  It’s a ridiculously scary idea for me.  My physio wants me to start strengthening up and is encouraging me to go to the gym to work on this.  It is freaking me out.  I am not a gym person.  If I could work out in the dark, with no one else around, I would be ok.

Buying: DIY stuff.  Spray paint and house paint and staple guns (!) and all manner of handyman-esque items.  Injury is imminent.

Watching: That should read “binge-watching”.  Because I am overdosing on episodes of Lee Mack’s hilarious sitcom Not Going Out.  I admit to loving him just a little bit.  I have several years of the show to catch up on so it’s nightly viewing for me at the moment.  I’m also watching Jamie Ray Vintage on Youtube.  Her videos make me want to paint and upcycle everything in sight.

Cringing: At my thighs.  Sigh.  I don’t know how they happened.  And also at Donald Trump.  I don’t know how he happened either.

Needing: A hug.  I am not a touchy-feely person and everyone who knows me knows I am not a hugger, so when I say I need a hug, things must be getting tricky.

Smelling: The last remnants of my favourite perfume from Somethin Special.  It’s called Butt Naked.  Which is a horrible name that I am embarrassed to tell people about, but it smells like heaven on a stick.  I must order some more directly.

Wearing: Trousers and jeans.  Ugh, I hate them.  But I have put on weight and none of my skirts fit right now so I have to wear pants.  Many of them with elastic waists.  Which make me cry and want to hide in a cave somewhere.

Worrying: About the future.  A LOT.  Everything seems so unstable and scary, both personally and around the world in general.  I don’t remember there being a time like this, where nothing makes sense and everything seems crazy and upsetting.  The wrong people are in power and it frightens me.  We seem to be evolving backwards.

Knowing: I need a haircut.  Every day I have the same conversation with myself about booking an appointment, but do I do anything about it?  No.  I do not.  I am starting to look like a bedraggled yeti.

Thinking: Way too much.  How do you switch your brain off?  I am attending a Mindfulness workshop next week to see if I can learn to be more “in the moment” and all that stuff.  Most of my health issues are connected to my inability to relax, both physically and mentally so I have to try and do something about it.  Fingers crossed! (and then uncrossed…and relaxed…) 🙂

Sorting: Lots of sorting!  I have just gone through three ENORMOUS boxes of paperwork and shredded/sorted/filed it.  It’s a job I had been meaning to do for YEARS.  Like, why did I have receipts from car repairs I had done 15 years ago?  Why???  I am culling books and clothes and STUFF as well.  Just trying to get in some sort of order.

Getting: Into meditation and mindfulness.  I am trying so hard to calm my mind and stop being so anxious, panicky and sad (usually all at the same time).  I have bought a new little CD player, so I can do some guided meditation at night before bed and I am trying really hard to stay mindful and BREATHE during the day.  It’s not easy.  But at least I am trying.

Coveting: Phil Collins tickets.  I tried to book tickets (the crappiest, cheapest seats I could get) and they had all sold out within minutes.  The next class of tickets was too rich for my blood so I had to bow out.  So sad. *cries*

Disliking: The way people behave on Twitter/Facebook/Instagram.  Who are these people who like to troll and abuse folks they don’t even know?

Feeling: Tired.  Tired.  Tired.  And middle-aged.  That one crept up on me…

Admiring: My dear friend for packing up her unsatisfying life and moving on to bigger and better things in a faraway location where she will know no one and have to fend for herself in an isolated location.  She is so much braver than me.  But I will miss her 😦

Snacking: Way too much.  I recently made these three-ingredient Peanut Butter Cookies and it wasn’t so much snacking as a cram-them-all-in-my-gob-at-once kinda scenario. They. Are. Delicious.

Giggling: At the antics of my temporary lodger, Ella the guinea pig.  She’s my niece’s little piggy and she’s adorable.  I am looking after her while her “people” are away.  She never stops eating.  I believe we are kindred spirits.

 

So, that’s my October.  What are your plans?  Are you looking forward to Spring cleaning, Halloween and the start of Christmas shopping?  Or is October just another month to you – one that flies by like the rest of them?  Whatever you are doing, I hope your month is creative and happy.

Thanks for dropping in x